Gets It!

Today whilst i was in the chapel, the story of the farmer planting the seed came in mind.

I was thinking how God has sown this seed in my heart, and because i wanted to i allowed it to grow. But I was like was is christianity about? What am i meant to do? So i thought of my past.. and realised that it wasnt the multitude that helped me grow my faith, it wasnt the church filled worship sessions but the love and time of my dear friend Joseph!

And it just clicked.. We as followers of Christ should help individuals grow in a deep intimate way with christ! Its not about bringing thousands to faith! But about giving up our own precious time to love, help sustain the few! Really loving them and helping the to grow in Christ making sure they plant the seed well having deep roots instead of "converting" thousands and ending up dry after a few months!

Love the unloved especially when we ourselves feel unloved, Feed the poor when we ourselves have nothing to give, Give time to others even when we dont have for ourselves..

Dieing to ones self, for the Love of our brothers and sisters in Our God, for his glory!

I get it :D

I give Up!...

Stressed, Panicked and lost..
At times i feel like a kid who lost his dad at a supermarket and suddenly the kids starts looking everywhere for the dad yet his dad would be always behind him but the little kid never realises! And he panics and cries and shout.. Were are you daddy??
And when everything seems to really go bad.. He calms his little child by showing him that he is there!


This week i was feeling just like that little kid, I was tempted with so many earthly things and different lifestyles, that i just wanted to give up because it was too hard.. But in my head i had made the real desicion to follow Christ , so i kept repeating it to myself in my time of dispair, i could not see God moving at that moment but i knew he was there !

His love never fails! No matter what happens what im presented with, today Ben can say i want to choose christ above all! Even though i stumble and fall i will get up and walk in his path again! I am not willing to give up the life i have in him for anything else.


This post probably made sense to no one, i re wrote it 3 times but i couldnt write what i was feeling in the way i wanted, so it will remain locked up inside.

Living it..

Yesterday i had an argument with a very close friend of mine. And today i heard this song, and God simply broke my heart.

Jesus spoke about love, radical love. man its so hard (:

I always thought of this song as my mission statement of God sending me to far away countries to take the good news. But i havent yet realise that i need to start living it here. Living love till it hurts! Just like Jesus did on the cross, whilst that pain and agony he found the time to love the sinner who was next to him on the cross!

What a great loving God! and i cant even love someone who never did anything to me! Fidejk Big Boss! Only you can make the change inside of me (:

Following Christ

There is deep desire in my heart to pursue what God has planned for my life, but i realise that there are many areas in my life which i have to let go off.

I am sure that anyone who is willing to follow Christ, will find areas where he must let go off to follow his one Love.

God is a creative God, he constantly creates out of his love,and calls us to change, and to be his amazing work of art.

But why?

Why cant i let go?

Aint i able to follow my heart?

Oh dearest one Please free me from myself.. all i want is who you are!

Battle.. Worship... Hope.. The Game

Confusing title right? Been having a blast playing The Game with someone :P *langas-orange* Its quite confusing if you dont get it :P and many dont!

Today Youths, Gods spirit could be really felt, i wanted to jump and scream with Joy!
A 2009 which passed mega quick, without much time to be and relax with God, This is what i want from 2010, time to think about my Love, what he wills for my life and pursuing what he wants me to do!

Also met an amazing english family today! Great worshipers! Thanks Ten,Tad,Tan for comin! Worship, such an overflow of our lives, when we walk with God, spend time with him, and just listening, Thanking him for always being there in the good or bad!
When we live a worshipers life we truly become a living testimony of Gods love for everyone!

Battle, 2010 begins.. A year filled with new challenges from God, ie more attacks from the one down there hehe, But hey ive got a good sword(bible). Lets get ready for battle guys, lets really take up the guts, to die for what we believe in, to be truly witnesses of love! Remember as Paul Washer emphasises in his sermon, Being calleda christian, or just praying a prayer of salvation doesnt really save you unless you let go of everything and follow Jesus!

Atm im reading the Life- J John. a Book which speaks about Jesus, its actually a basic for People who dont know Jesus or are still new to christianity, but sometimes i think we claim to be christians but we dont even know what christ preached, said , and lived! So im going back to basics and learning who Jesus is, what he did, how he lived.. Also been looking for a book about the Holy Spirit. I know nothing about him! And i honestly want to learn to grow to love him! the cool thing is that he already loves me :D

A NEW START

Welcome Twenty-ten (as rach calls it)!

A brand new year, a chance to make a new start.
(: it quite exciting, a new year , a whole 365 days of crazy things, fun stuff and even dull or sad moments!

Last night , DON Disko vs lightsout was honestly one of the best Nye Parties ive ever attended, Great crowd, nice place. What i honestly liked about last night that i didnt drink and did not fight or argue with anyone, the first time in so many years! I feel honestly proud of myself. I managed to break this vicious circle of Nye= Alcohol galore+ and fights with Gods love that was broken!

I pray that you all guys may have a blessed year filled with Gods blessings, love and mercy !

Back home..

Dear Friends,

Ive been away, 4 days cut off from all that is home! And it felt AWESOME! For once i was a nobody. i was lost in a sea of faces just like the song of Kutless. Here im a someone. Im Ben the sound man of Y4J the big tall guy who drives a van.. i have an identity, a family, friends and a job.

But who am i? or rather who am i meant to be? Its a question which i ask myself constantly... who is Ben.. and yet i have no answer

I learnt to love myself as God has made me with all my "diffetti" and all but what is He making me into?

In London, the place really didnt impress me, its only stone, bricks and years of history.. ok it was nice.. but the poor sleeping outside in the rain and cold.. what about those?
Is it fair?
I dont care if i become rich, have a steady job or a family if there are millions who still sleep outside, and all we do is pass by them and forget them..

I was thinking today about most of the young guys at y4j, how ive seen them grow in the past few year into real Men of God.
Will we just walk by the broken? will these men do something? are we willing to be change? Ready to give it all up for the kingdom?

One thing which impressed me at the concert was this:
During one of the songs i cant remember which a guy (a) stood on his friend (b) shoulder and sang along cheering the crowd and really into it. Martin Smith was like :O ... But what impressed me was that B was giving A the glory role by submitting for his friend and serving him in carrying....

Imagine if we know someone who we know God has called him to be a preacher ezempju... do we pray for him,support him and give them all they need, Just for him to do what God has called him to do?
Are we willing to die to ourselves so that others can rise trough our suffering?

Christians= Christ like..
ILLL kemm hi kbira dik il kelma... before boasting your a christian look at yourself and see if what your doing is uplifting others or yourself...

Attenti! no easy task!

Blessings